I'll start at the beginning, I woke up and was decidedly in a poor mood. It was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I got dressed, whined around, and snapped at my husband once((that man has the patience of Job when it comes to me, I tell you,he deserves an award)) We made the two hour trek to Des Moines for church and then to have lunch with my family after. I slept most of the way up. I received a sweet text from my best friend letting me know she cared, it made me smile.
We got to the church almost late, and hurried in to sit next to my mom, niece, and step dad, in the process of everyone shifting around my poor niece took a tumble and conked her noggin on the kneeler, way to make a quiet entrance, Amanda! It was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
Father gave a wonderful homily on patience and timing...just what I needed! Maybe it would only be a no good, very bad day, afterall.
After Mass we went downstairs for some donuts and orange juice, I was still in a rotten mood, a mood I had made for myself out of nothing. Nothing but past experience. I sat at the table and read my book, and did not eat. My grandma called to tell us she hadn't even started on her way yet, she lives almost as far as us, so I weighed my options: the next Mass starting in fifteen minutes, or hanging out with happy moms ((mine, and my sister)) for two hours with no food or public place to distract me....Mass again.
Monsignor also gave a wonderful homily, though I'm embarrassed to admit that I know I enjoyed it, I can't recall much of it. I do know that every homily I have ever heard from that man has left me in tears, that one was no exception. At the end of both Masses they did a little Mother's Day spiel and I was so pleased at how well they handled it both times, they included every possible type of mother and talked about all women being included. It brightened my day a little more, perhaps it would just be a bad day.
When I got back to my mom's ((Tom had gone home with them, and left me our car, though I could have walked, they live right across the street)) I didn't have to wait long until everyone was assembled and ready to go. My mom, sister and I rode together, while the rest of our party rode in my step-dad's truck. The trip there wasn't so bad, bless them, they avoided the topic of motherhood quite well. I only had to cringe once when Anna suggested Hooters for dinner, because Moms ate free. I had to remind her that aside from the whole objectifying women thing, I would be the only female over two years of age in our group that would have to pay, no, not doing it. Yes, definitely a very bad day.
We got to the restaurant and had a twenty minute wait. It was beautiful outside, so we took some pictures, and Tom reminded me that I wasn't the only one having a bad day, he lost his mother in 2009 and it was the first Mother's Day for both my grandma and step-dad without their mothers (they both passed away this year) I felt like a jerk then for being all self-centered and mopey, I not only had my mother, but my grandmother who helped raise me. Aren't they beautiful?
Not only did I have both of them, but I had these lovely ladies, too.
Maybe it would be an okay day afterall.
We ate, and we laughed, and, Anna (my sister) and I played tic tac toe on the back of our placemats, and passed Amelia (the cute, little one) around and everyone got a snuggle, and my empty uterus didn't even ache when I held her. Our food came, and we talked and laughed, and ate, and by George, I was having a good time! Yup, totally a decent day!
It was a day of love, and celebration, and holding each other up.
We all parted ways after we were back at my mom's. The ride home was pleasant, Tom and I chatted easily now, all my bitterness from the morning gone.
When we got home I sat down at the computer and checked my e-mail. I then cried. I cried and I cried, and I knew immediately why I had had a great day. I had e-mail after e-mail, some so simple, and some much longer. Some simply read; "praying for you" or "love you" and some were longer and touched me so deeply. So many people. So much love. For me. I was just so overwhelmed by the outpouring of support. Many people that don't even talk to me often taking the time to say that I was in their thoughts and prayers, and that they cared.
I wasn't forgotten, or empty, or alone. I was deeply loved, and cared about, and people remembered my pain. And I had a great day because so many people cared enough to think about me and pray for me. Your prayers held me up and re-shaped my day. Words can't even express how grateful I am to you people. I'm crying now just thinking about it!
In spite of all of the dread, whining, and pessimism, God had a plan, and your prayers had a place. Thank you to all of you that thought of me, or any infertile friend, it makes all the difference. When someone crosses your mind, pray for them, you never know the difference it will make.
|All of the ladies.|