Friday, February 8, 2013

I'm pro-life, but...

We've talked before about how you cannot be a "Christian, but..." What about being pro-life, with exceptions? This is a touchy, touchy gray area that most people don't like to wade into. But, you're in luck, because I am not most people! I have been pro-choice, and I have been "pro-life, but..." now I am pro-life, period. I urge you to think about what I about to say, and really consider it. I want to look at the two biggest reasons people are "pro-life, but..." those are, of course, in cases of rape/incest, and in the case of health of the mother. First, we're going to look at rape, and I will do a separate post later about health of the mother.

I have shared with you before the very touching story of  mother faced with BOTH of these choices before (you can find that here

I have had this debate...oh, probably at least eighty times. And, everyone always uses the same tactic on me "You honestly think that a woman that has been RAPED should be FORCED to carry the RAPISTS child? Jerk." to which I respond, "You honestly believe that a CHILD should be MURDERED for the crimes of their father? Jerk." Which causes them to pause and be all, "Wait, what?" To which I can then open it up and explain to them what I mean by that.

By saying that you believe a child should be aborted because they are conceived in rape, you are saying that because of what the father did, the child should not be able to live. Therefore you are saying it's okay to give a child, an innocent baby, that had no choice in the matter the death penalty because their father was a bad dude. So, if my dad goes around and starts raping people, should I get the death penalty because I am his child? Because that's exactly what you're saying.

Remember, we are talking about people that have already established that they are pro-life, thus, already admitted that the baby IS a human life, and that it's not okay to kill them, but then they turn around and say "oh, wait, they aren't a human life if...and they are okay to murder when..." Do you see where that puts you in a position where you are no longer pro-life?

This alone is often enough to get people to think and realize their own hypocrisy, but if you're super stubborn, let's move on to your next point of argument: "Well, I see your point, but I think it's justifiable homicide because she shouldn't have to carry HIS child." Really? It's JUST his child? That child  JUST has HIS DNA? Is that child's DNA not half it's mother's? Is that child not hers as well? That child is not just his, it's hers as well.

For some people it stops here, others still press forth with, "But she's just going to be living in agony for NINE whole months being forced to carry a child that she doesn't want, and then has to raise a baby that reminds her of what he did to her, for nine months she has to live with that." No. She has to live with that for the rest of her entire life, no matter the choice she makes. Even when you don't become pregnant as a result of rape, you are still effected by the rape daily. An abortion after a rape adds a trauma on top of a trauma, it is not a "quick fix" and it doesn't eliminate the problem. (Read Victims and Victors if you don't believe me.) It just creates a bigger one. See, instead of dealing with the rape, instead of consoling her, and loving her through it, we convince her to just "get rid of it" and never address the actual issue. After the reading Victims and Victors I realized that many women actually feel TRIUMPHANT after the birth of the child. They feel like they beat him! What you don't realize is that in these cases that rapist takes so much from her. He takes her innocence, her choice, her life as she knows it, her security, her comfort, her trust, and her peace of mind. Then you also want to take away the child that is also part of her?

We all know I am pro-adoption, so of course that's an option, but what if she wants to parent the child? I am cool with that, it's her baby, she has that right. But what about everyone else? Women have been shamed, ostracized and even told they were liars when they chose to keep a child conceived in rape. It seems to me that it's more about YOUR discomfort with the issue than with the mother's right to choose. You're all "choice, choice, choice" until a rape victim CHOOSES to raise her baby, and then you make HER feel like crap...what exactly did she do wrong? You are chill with punishing women and babies for the crimes of another if it keeps you from having to be uncomfortable. Tell me again how pro-life you are.

This is the point that people either say, "Whoa, never thought of it like that" or slink away and don't talk to me about it any further.

When a woman has an abortion after a rape she not only has to deal with the ramifications of the rape, but those of the abortion as well, the regret, the loss, the shame, the guilt, and what some describe as "medical rape". Many women are pressured into abortions, and it is not their choice at all. This is not healing to a woman, this is damaging. I would like to leave you with a couple of quote from women that have lived it. From Victims and Victors:

"Abortion does not help or solve a problem—it only compounds and creates another trauma for the already grieving victim by taking away the one thing that can bring joy." —Helene

"I, having lived through rape, and also having raised a child 'conceived in rape,' feel personally assaulted and insulted every time I hear that abortion should be legal because of rape or incest. I feel that we're being used to further the abortion issue, even though we've not been asked to tell our side of the story." —Kathleen

"The effects of the abortion are much more far reaching than the effects of the rape in my life." —Patricia

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