Thursday, September 11, 2014

Thank You For Not Inviting Me.

Dear Friend,
I was invited to your graduation party, your bridal shower, and your wedding. I was very grateful to be there to help you celebrate these momentous occasions, knowing that I matter enough to be invited means the world to me.

Now that you're expecting though, I couldn't help but notice you posting about a baby shower. A shower I wasn't invited to.

Thank you.

Thank you for thinking of me, thank you for understanding my pain and not judging me for it. Thank you for crossing me off the guest list. Thank you for caring enough about me to NOT send me an invitation.

We're close enough that I know it isn't because you don't want me there. I know it's because you don't want me to feel like I have to be there. You want to save me the pain of wandering the baby aisles to find you a gift. You want to save me the pain of letting you down when I find a lame excuse not to come.

You want to save me the pain of feeling like a jealous jerk-face for crying all the way home, and maybe having to leave early because it's just too hard.

I can't thank you enough for thinking enough of me, and caring enough about me to not have any expectations of me, and to not make me feel pressured.

I know being the pregnant friend of an infertile person can't be easy, but I want you to know that I noticed. I noticed that you call to check in on me and don't mention your pregnancy unless I do.

I noticed that you don't ask about the adoption process unless I want to talk about it.

I noticed you pay attention to the things I posted and thought to leave me off the guest list.

I'm sorry I can't be a better friend to you, but thank you for being a good enough friend to not invite me to your baby shower. You'll never know how good not getting an invitation made me feel.

-Your infertile friend  

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